In my debut book Agridulce, I wrote a prose titled “Thoughts on Change” that reads:
“Change is something inevitable. If you do not take smart risks, you will not be able to know the true power of your potential. Most people fear change because of the unknown. The fear of leaving behind the comfort zone. The truth is, change will always exist in our personal and professional lives. We are continuously learning, and adapting. This is part of change.”
Today, I find myself reflecting on this passage as I prepare to embark on a journey of Change, yet again. Although I know change is necessary and an essential part of life as a pathway to growth, it is still scary; like the very first time you say I love you, or when you tear down the walls to welcome vulnerability, or look into the mirror to finally tell yourself that it is okay to open your heart again.
Change, in respect to culture, has been my companion since I immigrated to the United States from Dominican Republic in 2009. I was only ten years old when I first shook hands with Change and thought that my curly hair wasn’t worth my love; so I started to destroy it with perms, hoping that I could look like the girls on the television commercials—with the long silky straight hair that lies flat on your head and your fingers run through it with ease. That word, ease, was not what I felt when I had to brush my hair for long periods of time; each pull reminding me of how I am not like those girls. It took almost ten years for me to let go of the unrealistic ideas that society had me believed about my hair. I still remember the day I saw those years hit the floor at the salon, lying lifeless, as I welcomed the real me—a moment of liberation, acceptance, and grace.
As an adult, Change has encouraged me to look back and see all the stages in my life where I had to let go to welcome a new version of myself. Like the seasons, I had to surrender and trust the process, even when I felt like closing myself up to the world and giving up. Then I realized that, “Flowers bloom without fear or hesitation. They open their petals gently, timely, and beautifully; trusting in the inner work, wearing vulnerability as a shield.”
“The realization that everything in life is impermanent, changing, unstable is the only thing that can eventually free us from pain. If we are attached to something staying the same, we experience pain when it changes. If we are too attached to people, we act possessively and attempt to run their lives even though we know this does not work and only creates more conflict”
“Attachment, whether it is to people, things, places, or ideas, simply doesn’t bring happiness. Freedom comes from when we learn to live in loving association with people and are able to let go of things when they outgrow their usefulness. We experience freedom when we are able to share our love, ideas and material resources and when we appreciate the places we visit and the ideas we hold and, yet, we leave them without regret.” —Diane Childmarie, The Inner Dance.
Journaling Prompts
How can I welcome change into my life as an opportunity and not a threat?
Make a list of what feelings and thoughts you need to clear in order to shift or release the heavy energy within you. Ask yourself if you are holding on to something due to fear of letting go.
How can I surrender deeper into this moment or experience?
What change(s) am I resisting and why?
What parts of myself do I want to hold on to and which ones do i need to let go?
This phrase hit home for me! “Flowers bloom without fear or hesitation. They open their petals gently, timely, and beautifully; trusting in the inner work, wearing vulnerability as a shield.” Been thinking a lot about the blooming process I'm currently undergoing, and I'm almost fighting it. But there is indeed something to be said for trusting the innerwork, and finding comfort in vulnerability. Thanks for this beautiful piece. It seems so many of us are in this phase.
I'm definitely in my feelings here reading your post. Change appears even in the most subtle ways. Thank you for sharing <3